Wanna Read Some Brilliant Writing?

Then don’t read my blog.  BUT!  You should read Dave’s brothers blog.  I am telling you, you will find nothing but genius entertainment.  Go ahead.  Add it to your favorites.  You won’t be the only one.

Take this post, for example.

While the World Burns

…somehow I’ve just been sitting back and watching it.

California is on fire. It happens every year. The Santa Ana winds come and blow it all over the place.

Hurricane season comes and passes. Why anyone would live in Florida is beyond my comprehension.

Tornadoes rip through the midwest each year.

The west suffers from droughts.

And my patience with BYU wanes off into nowhere, while my vexation for it waxes towards ferocity.

Case in point:

“You are receiving this email because you have unpaid tution for fall semester 2008. Please note that your tuition is due by September 15th, 2008. Failure to pay tuition by this date will result in a hold on your record.”

(message date: November 15, 2008)

… … … … uh?

My response:

“To Whom it May Concern (but probably isn’t paying attention):

“I have paid my tuition, in full, and then some in mental investments and time spent on hold with you and your incompetent employees. It was paid by my scholarship, which I had to painfully drag myself through the dregs of hell to remind your top-notch staff that I was entitled to. After it was applied, I fought bravely to receive my pell grant, which the government told me I could have, but BYU somehow decided it was above the federal government when it came to dispersing said funds.

“I finally received it, after slaying an employee who had fallen drunk off of BYU Creamery Chocolate Milk outside the office, taking up their clothes as a disguise, fooling their servant into following me, and bringing back that which was sacred after having all of my riches and earthly possessions stolen after a previous attempt to solve the situation in a civil manner. I decided, after all, that it was better that one ASB employee should perish, than my world dwindle and perish in fiduciary inability.

“Because I have acted in faith and in accordance with your own hoops-a-plenty to jump through, several times, all while grudgingly following the out-dated elements of the honor code in order to save [clean-shaven] face, I demand you remove these charges from my account, or I will be forced to take legal action.

“in closing, thanks for providing yet another vehicle for my angst for your institution to prosper in full creativity.”

Their response:

“Your account has been updated. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

I just wonder how many times that email got passed around the office. Hopefully none, because it would incite too much free thought on campus…

…and we all know how the Lord feels about people using their gifts.

Written by Mike Morris