We have two lovely children in our family.
To answer the question you’ve all been wanting to ask… We are done. For now. (Emphasis on “for now.”)
I do not plan to share with you our personal reasons for this decision. They are very personal. But I have been wanting to share a thought I’ve been having for awhile now that some of you may be able to relate to.
I know that other people cannot quite wrap their minds around our choice. Why would you choose to only have two kids? What are you going to do with the rest of your life? I’ve even had people ask me if I’ll go back to work when both kids start school. Why this would be more of an option for a mother of two as compared to a mother of five is beyond me, however, it has been asked by more than one person.
Which brings me to my thought. Why do I plan to stay home even when both of my kids are in school all day. Well, for me, the answer is a complete and total no-brainer.
I still want to be a stay-at-home mom.
I still want to be there for them when they leave in the morning and when they walk in the door in the afternoon. I want them to take comfort knowing that I am there for them all day in case they need me. I want to be able to be actively involved in their classrooms. I want to get all of my housework and errands taken care of during the day so I can devote the afternoons and evenings to them.
I’ve been pondering the many aspects of this topic: The why’s. The adjustment it will be for me. How will I deal with this? How will I deal with what people think of the way I spend my time? Etc etc.
In researching this, I found this excellent article that sums up exactly how I feel about the WHY! I love validation!!
Here’s to hoping these thoughts help someone else out there!
Part Two is coming soon… if you can handle it.
13 comments:
who would want to go back to work :) that's no fun. i enjoyed your thoughts and look forward to more of them.
Give it to me baby!!!! I can handle it.
i used to get asked all the time when i was having more kids!!! it's stops after a while!!!
thanks for your thoughts I have had a lot of the same ones over the years, even though i want more kids, the reality is that it may never happen.
i will check out the article!!!
Such good thoughts Jo...all so true. One of the biggest blessings in my life was my mom always being there when I walked through the door, ready to talk about my day and give 100% to her kids. You are a good mommy!!
thanks for sharing your thoughts and the article.i totally agree! i have four with only one in school and i already get the question of "will you go back to teaching once all of your kids are in school?" hello! my baby is nine months old-and no thank you very much i do not plan on working outside the home when they are in school. i believe that while staying home when the children are young is important, it is equally (if not more) important to be home when they are older (especially junior high and high school) when social pressures are so great. besides like you said i want to be involved in their education and support them in their extra-curricular activities too. :) just my two cents.
Joanna,
Good for you.
I am always asked:
"When are you going to stop!" LOL.
You know what I find interesting. It seems that people are just always asking what your plans are and always have an opinion about it. People may think WHY WOULD YOU ONLY HAVE TWO KIDS and yet that same person would look at me and think WHY IS SHE HAVING SO MANY KIDS SO FAST? I have learned in life that you have to do what is good for your family and not worry about the other opinions b/c boy there sure are a lot out there! GOOD FOR YOU for deciding on something! And good for you if you change any part of that later in life. It's your life and you are the creator of it! SO KEEP IT UP! And just know I love you ALWAYS!
Are you kidding?! I'm counting down the days that I don't have to take a child to the grocery store and deal with their constant begging to buy things. I want to lounge in and read a good book and not feel guilty.(As my daughter recently said,"Mom, what's more important, reading your book or playing with your daughter?" ouch! And I definitely want to always be home in case they start feeling sick at school. I remember one time I was super sick but didn't bother calling my mom b/c she was at work. You are so right about having energy when they get home. However, I will miss all the little joys that come with having a small one at home. I'm afraid I'll get lonely.
Funny you should mention this... I was just talking to a really nice lady at the park down here. She just had her 3rd and is now a SHM. She offered that many of her friends at work (she is a Physical Therapist) were in awe that she would decide to devote all of her time to her children. While talking she said without any pause that staying home was MUCH harder than being at work. She is a good person to give her opinion on this also, because she continued to work with her first two children, and is just now staying home. She opened up and shared how difficult it was getting the 'non-contributing citizen' questions from friends and family; however, she was a great example to me of a smart and intelligent woman who believed that the MOST important contribution to society she could make, would be raising good and secure children. She also said that even if they don't 'turn out' at least she would know that she gave it her all : )
You are also a good, intelligent, wonderful mother. Besides being there for your kids, you are also there for all the kids in the neighborhood and you'll probably never know the great impact you have had on them. Thank you for being you and sharing your opinion!
I'm glad you're so wise.
Reading Elise's comment and thinking about 'noncontributing citizen' reminded me of the headline in the newspaper yesterday-"Advice to Parents: Know Child". This was in response to the school shootings, etc. Not to say any of these beautiful children are in that category, but for so many reasons it is important to 'know' them and how does that happen if you're not there?!
There was also an article in USA Today last week about career moms that have lost their jobs and are so shocked about how little they know about their kids' lives. One had never been in the playroom of her building-didn't know where it was. Another's young son had to tell her their schedule and give directions wherever they went. They all felt a loss for what they had been missing out on. Just wait till those kids are teenagers!
Good forum!
I am so proud of you for doing what is right for you and your family. So thankful that each of us can receive our own answers from God about what is right for us. I love to see your family and believe ever so fervently and strongly that each family even if they have NO kids is trying to do what is right for them. I am happy you know this too. You are so great.
I never knew that people assume a mom should/would go back to work after the kids are in school. Perhaps because people are too busy telling me I need to have another child so Grant has a sibling. Ha! Anyway - I 100% support your still wanting to be a stay at home mom.
Amen to all these comments and to you Jo! First of all, the choice to have 2 kids. I have so many close friends who have 2 and/or only want 2 that is seems like such a non issue to me. I can't even believe that people would make you feel like you have to explain it! And second, the choice to stay home even when the kids are in school. All I can say is I can't wait for that day. I've been looking forward to it since having kids. To be able to have some ME time and get things done by myself is going to be my reward for all the years of having kids around 24/7! And I totally agree that it is so important to be there at kids' crossroads....going and coming home...and being able to have the flexibility to volunteer in the classroom, go to school performances, stay home wich sick kids, etc. Having worked full-time with a baby, I know that life is not easy when you don't have that flexibility.
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